The trouble is the way we lived our lives before anxiety, we think if we think it it must be true or we might follow it through, in fact sometimes its not just the thought, it is WHY we are having them that bothers people.So this is the thing we need to address, understand why they are there and they become less scary and don’t mean as much.(There’s a great thread on the Conscious Weddings e Course archived message board with the title “Enough Spark”, where the wise women offer their thoughts on this buzzword; if you’re not engaged or newlywed, please see my Break Free From Relationship Anxiety E-Course). working together towards the same goal, being on the same wavelength about an issue, and so on.Even the word “connection” can mean different things to different people. This is not a permanent emotional state; relationships are typically full of ups and downs.There’s been a lot of discussion about “sexless” marriages, many focusing on how to define “sexless.Honestly, I don’t want to have to turn to a so-called “expert” or another couples’ definition of sexless — I want to determine if my relationship is sexless based on whether my sexual needs, and those of my partner, are being met.
Mine are fear of dying, fear of hurting someone physically or sexually, all the usual, fear of self harm/suicide, ITS CRIPPLING MATE and my last symptom to go.That’s the baseline barometer; anything else is what happens when fear is in the driver’s seat. It feeds you culturally sanctioned lines like you should him? But I use is a bit differently than the mainstream usage.When I talk about chemistry, I ask my client or e Course participant this question: When you’re not anxious, are you to him and do you enjoy spending time together? When I think of being connected with my husband, the feeling usually happens when we’re “jiving” together, i.e.I know you yourself have suffered these and your bit in your book is amazing, but without being nosy could you elaborate a little more on what you suffered. It is the memory of having these thoughts and the fear of them and trying not to think them that is keeping me thinking them!Firstly anxiety is excess adrenalin, add this to bad nerves and this is why we feel anxious.Christmas Bride2006 wrote eloquently on this question in response to Trustand Love on the archived Conscious Weddings message board posts (which appear in the Conscious Weddings e Course, as well as a fabulous interview with Trustand Love): “Perhaps a good place to start is asking yourself “what is connection? I do remember the first profound feeling I had after being engaged was not feeling connected” to my fiancé. It was like my ability to be emotionally on the same page as my husband had suddenly disappeared and I couldn’t find it, no matter how hard I tried.